Some people look back fondly on Tony Blair as the prime minister who presided over ten years of economic growth. For the younger readers, economic growth is something that used to happen in the 90s. The middle classes would take out buy-to-let mortgages they could not really afford to buy property they did not need. When enough people did this, houses became too expensive for people to actually live in and everybody was happy. Except poor people, but they are not Tony Blair’s problem; it’s not like he’s a socialist.
Tony Blair was a beloved prime minister. Well, until the Iraq war, but he still managed to win a third term in office. Perhaps this was because of the economic growth. Perhaps it was because of the Good Friday agreement that seems to have established a lasting peace in Northern Ireland. Perhaps it is because the majority of Britons are a bunch of idiots who prefer the News of the World over The Observer, Big Brother over Question Time and care only about personal gain.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog you probably already knew I am not a big fan of the man, or as I like to call him “Shut the fuck up you evil, smiling idiot.” It is not just because of the Iraq War, the fact that he beliefs he is on a mission from God, or the stink of corruption. It is not just about the well-timed “sincere” pauses and the hollow phrases. It is not just the fact that he wasted billions of pounds not improving social services or that he is the prime minister who well and truly established the nanny state.
What really annoys me is the blank grin of a man that is clearly not prone to introspection. If you’re like a normal human being – and you’re not, reading this blog makes you very special – you probably have some doubts about yourself that make you a bit insecure. You try to deal with these doubts and make an effort to become a somewhat better person. That is a waste of time. Is is much easier to just lower your standards to the point where anything you do makes you feel great about yourself. Like starting the Iraq war, pissing on the American constitution, or on the Italian one. True, the last two were not Tony Blair, but his pals.
But all’s well that ends well, right? Blair is now establishing peace in the Middle East and between his incompetence and the intractability of all parties involved, we need never hear of him again. But no, now he is being backed by the UK government to become first president of the EU’s council.
Which would be bad. Because as the first person in the role, he will have a big impact on it and its institutions. He will set up offices with no role other than to confirm his views. He will make Europe seem just as retarded as Bush-time America. True, like any in the EU bureaucracy it will most likely be a very impotent position that will be very unlike that of president of the United States. But he will not understand this. He will take it to be a very important job that he will take very seriously.
Which will mean he will be back in the news. I cannot stand another decade of waking up to the morning news featuring Tony Blair and his “opinions” on everything, from the shape of cucumbers (depends on the polls), employment (depends on the polls), education (depends on the polls) or wars against Muslim nations (yes). I cannot stand another decade of ever-lengthening pauses, of initiatives that are obviously doomed to anyone except the yes-men he has surrounded himself with or the spoilt whining of Cherie Booth.
So, what can we do about this? We could get a proper president, such as the very qualified prime minister of Luxembourg (Juncker) or Germany (Merkel), but competence rarely matters in a popularity contest. We could hope the Irish keep up their rejection of the Lisbon treaty and prevent the role of president from being created, but they have returned to their roots and are going to need that sweet EU funding again. We could accept that any large nation automatically becomes ruled by an idiot, give up all dreams of a united Europe and go back to being independent countries that act as the buffer between the US and Russia. Or we can accept what happens and try to fit in. I, for one, intend to abuse chemicals until most of my brain has died, I truly care about the fates of Jordan and Michael Jackson, enjoy Top Gear and think Tony Blair is a decent kind of guy.
Post a Comment