Scientist claim they have identified the ‘Oldest English words‘. “I”, “we”, “two” and “three” are some of the oldest words in the English language, which suggests the first English guy’s girlfriend had a hot friend.
Through a process I do not really understand – nor do I want to spend any time trying to – the scientists in question have identified the rate at which words change. To quote: We fit a wide range, so there’s a lot of computation involved; and that range then brackets what the true answer is and we can estimate the rates at which these things are replaced through time.
Ah, right. They just bracket the true answer using computation. I could have thought of that.
The team says it can predict which words are likely to become extinct – citing “squeeze”, “guts”, “stick” and “bad” as probable first casualties.
Yes, except that they have just published the fact that these words will become extinct and they are now recorded in their university’s library. Verbs also tend to change quite quickly, so “push”, “turn”, “wipe” and “stab” appear to be heading for the lexicographer’s chopping block.
This is terrible news for the youths of England, who will soon have to find a new way to call killing each other, if stabbing is out. May I suggest ‘stick squeeze guts bad’?
The age of the words ‘waste’, ‘of’, ‘bloody’, and ‘time’ is not mentioned in the article.
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