Patrick Simpson

Tom Harris is the Labour MP for Glasgow South. But he’s not just an MP, he also has a blog and it’s not just about politics:

If you believe that politicians take themselves too seriously, you might enjoy it.

I do believe that, Tom, I do!

If you think they should take themselves very seriously indeed, or shouldn’t have any interests outside politics, I would avoid it, frankly. Try John Redwood.

You’re nothing like that snooty John Redwood, who even writes books about politics; boring! No way would I ever have a beer with him.

Tom is a very active MP. He instigated an investigation into the effects of light pollution on the work of amateur astronomers. And he voted for British involvement in the Iraq war, back in 2003, when that was still controversial. That’s just the kind of guy Tom is. And don’t blame yourself, Tom, nobody could have foreseen the effect those explosions, oil fires and deaths would have on the work of amateur astronomers in Iraq.

And Tom is a very moral guy. He has a problem with teenage mothers. Of course, we all have a problem with that and would love to do something about it, if only we knew what. Tom points out one of the underlying problems: parents who are proud of their teenage children when they get pregnant:

Proud that his teenage daughter was not only sexually active but was now a mother? Proud that any chance of a decent education, followed by a decent job, was now remote at best?

That’s right Tom, she’ll never amount to anything! You tell ‘em! But the real question is why teenage girls get pregnant in the first place. Is it because they are young and uneducated about sexual matters?

[Many] (though not all) teenage girls do not become pregnant accidentally because of ignorance, because of a lack of understanding of how their bodies work.

If only you could see how red my face is, Tom.

They become pregnant because they have absolutely no ambition for themselves. They have been indoctrinated with the lie that they’ll never amount to anything, and have fulfilled that prophesy by making no effort to achieve any qualification.

That’s right, Tom, these stupid morons get pregnant because they think they’ll never amount to anything. Idiots!

Such young women see parenthood as one way of achieving a level of independence and self-worth. And they’re right, because that’s more or less what they get: a flat and therefore some privacy, an income for the first time in their lives.

Sorry, Tom, but I’m a bit confused. Are you now saying they’re right? I’m not sure I agree.

And in fact, many of them make a decent job of parenthood despite the awful circumstances.

Eh, Tom?

But even they are nevertheless rearing the next generation in an environment where the main adult isn’t working, but claiming.

Oh, you were just building up to calling them leeches. Well done, Tom.
I think these people just need a positive example in their lives.

When my dad was out of work in the early ’80s, he was depressed because he felt a responsibility to earn money to provide for his family. And so he started up his own business and got back on his feet. That’s the example I and my brothers and sister were lucky enough to have set for us.

That’s exactly what I meant Tom. I’m sure he was a great example for you when you were out of work for a year in the early ’80s and got back on your feet by taking a year at uni to figure out mechanical engineering is not for you.

The real problem, I think, is that we avoid making value judgments about people’s choices:

People shouldn’t be ashamed of their circumstanmces [sic], but neither should we avoid making value judgments about others’ choices

You and me, Tom, it’s like there’s only a single mind between the two of us.

especially when those choices result in a greater burden on the state, and lead to the continuation of the underclass.

And that’s a problem, Tom, the continuation of the underclass. You know what we should do, Tom? We should start a political party that is dedicated to lifting people out of the underclass. You and me, Tom, we can do it!

Teenage girls shouldn’t be having underage sex. Why? Because it’s wrong.

Ah, there is one of those value judgements we need so badly. And, of course, you’re right, Tom. Under-age sex should be left to teenage boys and consenting adults.

Teenage girls shouldn’t choose to have babies as an alternative to getting an education and a career. Why? Because it’s wrong.

Yes! Becoming a rock star and abusing drugs is the appropriate alternative to getting an education and a career, everyone knows that!

Parents shouldn’t teach their children that a lifetime on benefits is attractive or even acceptable. Why? Because it’s wrong.

Again, yes! Their socialist friends should teach them that!

(Please assume all the usual caveats: some people have no choice but to claim benefits, lots of single parents do a great job, etc.)

Tom! You were on such a roll. They are wrong! Everyone is wrong! All wrong!

This post isn’t about policy, yet. [..] But policies are one thing; winning the argument about why they’re needed is another.

I must admit I’m a bit disappointed, Tom. I was hoping for policy. But at least you’ve made it pretty clear that we need policy. Because they are wrong!

[It] is a complete load of bollocks to suggest that the ordinary working class people of Glasgow South and in hundreds of other constituencies throughout the country don’t agree with me.

That’s right, Tom! Everybody agrees with you. Except those middle class people! And those evil bankers! And John Redwood! He used to be an ordinary working class person, but turned himself into an banker! Wrong! He’ll never amount to anything!